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If you’ve ever discussed traveling abroad, you’ve undoubtedly heard about culture shock. Adjusting to a new culture, new foods, new language or slang– new everything, really– can be extremely difficult. The more different the cultures, the more of a shock you get when you travel. For example, when I first went to the UK, the differences were fairly small, so it wasn’t much of a culture shock. Visiting Oman, on the other hand, was hugely different from the Western countries I was used to.

Culture shock is hard enough, but most people are aware of it, so it’s not as surprising when it hits. No easier, but not surprising. But there’s actually a second type of culture shock you don’t hear about as often: reverse culture shock. This one can be even harder to deal with than regular culture shock.

Reverse culture shock is honestly exactly what it sounds like. When you spend enough time in another culture, you begin to get used to it. Then, when you return to your own culture, you have to readjust to it. Everything can feel really wrong, and things you’ve never had issues with before become major sources of anxiety. I know I never expected to have so much trouble going back to the U.S., but it was really hard. It’s still a little weird.

Reverse culture shock works similarly to its counterpart. The more different the cultures, the harder the adjustment. You won’t always experience it. The longer your trip, the more likely it is.

It can appear in small ways. After my first semester in the UK, everything in the U.S. felt really big. I remember my parents found it funny when I commented that our bathroom sink was huge. So much in the UK is smaller that I was really thrown off by the size of stuff. Food is another issue I still deal with. If I haven’t been stateside for a while, I get really sick from the food there. Pronunciation difference, humor, and terminology might not really be culture shock, but they catch me more and more the longer I’m in the UK.

When reverse culture shock displays in this way, it can be a little annoying, but also amusing. I find it really funny how everything is different, and it’s neat to see the changes in myself that I don’t recognize right away. Unfortunately, it’s nowhere near as fun when the shock is bigger. After spending a month in Oman, I had a really hard time readjusting to the U.S..

Oman is a fairly conservative Muslim country in the Middle East. That meant that while I was there, I had to respect and follow a very different way of doing things than in my progressive, Christian/atheist dominated home country. I never left where I was staying without long sleeves, a long skirt or loose pants/trousers, and a hijab. If I wasn’t completely covered, it might’ve been considered inappropriate, and people sure noticed the day I didn’t wear a headscarf. (I’m not suggesting all Omanis would take issue with a foreign, non-Muslim woman not completely covering, but I wanted to respect the culture I was in.)

Even though I didn’t/don’t speak Arabic to have communicated effectively with most of the Omanis I met, the social rules were still very different. The food was way out there compared to what I was used to, and the things I’d buy in the stores were things I wouldn’t find in the U.S..

In short, Oman was a different and new experience in almost every way, and I was there long enough to start getting used to it. So, surprise, surprise, I ended up with reverse culture shock when I went back home. It was so different to the culture shock I’d dealt with when I got to Oman. It seemed harder to deal with, maybe because it was my own culture I was having problems with. When even the most familiar things are jarring, it’s really challenging.

I was in the Deep South during the summer, which meant everyone was wearing shorts and tank tops. The first time I wore those in public after Oman, I felt so vulnerable, inappropriate, and exposed. It was a horrible feeling, and nothing I did could shake it. If I remember correctly, it took between a couple days and a couple weeks to get over that.

In addition to that, I had to readjust to American customs and social rules. Thankfully, there were enough similarities and my family was patient with me, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t challenges. And food was so bland. I missed the flavors and snacks I’d discovered in Oman. My mom helped me find and recreate some, but we spent a lot of the summer looking for ingredients. I went from a picky eater to craving a variety of flavors, much to my mom’s delight.

One of the worst parts of reverse culture shock is that very few people will understand what you’re experiencing. I was essentially relearning my own culture and dealing with all the anxieties and frustrations that went with that (because there really is a LOT of frustration involved), and few people around me could relate. People didn’t get why I was so uncomfortable wearing short sleeves in the summer heat. They didn’t get why I no longer enjoyed some of my favorite foods. They found it weird when I used any of the Arabic words I learned that don’t have English equivalents (which is exactly why I still use them).

I was fortunate to have just enough of an understanding and sympathetic support system to help me through it, but a lot of people don’t have that. I’ve heard stories of people who experience extreme anger with their culture and those around them as a result of reverse culture shock. Because they can’t always express what’s going on, and because others can’t relate, the frustration only worsens.

Reverse culture shock comes with so much anger, depression, loneliness, anxiety, desire to return to the place you just left, impatience, confusion, etc.. It’s ridiculous. I wish I could give you advice on how to manage it, I really do. But truth be told, I don’t know. It’s one of those things that you can’t always predict the extent of. It just hits different. All I can suggest is that you make yourself aware of it (and its effects/symptoms) in advance. Whether that be before you go on your trip or before you come back might not matter. If you know anyone who’s experienced it before, or who is used to adjusting to new cultures, try to lean on them when you get back. And be patient with yourself. You can’t force yourself to get over it. Trust me, I’ve tried.

I know this isn’t the most optimistic ending, but like I said, I really don’t know what to tell you. I just want to make sure you’re aware of this just in case you ever experience it yourself. It does pass for most people, but it takes time. Be gracious with yourself, and best of luck to you.